'Ants Don't Talk'

Basically, there was this douche at the pub earlier.

We had to stop to listen.

Basically he was like, think of any animal, the most random animal you can.

Random girl chose sloth.

He was like, yeah, sloths are cool 90% of the time they sit on their arse. But at some point they need to mate. But ANTS. ANTS are AWESOME. Ants can’t talk but they still work in a team and have the teamwork. Ants are mighty.

It went on. I wanted to just go, actually, you’re speaking bollocks btw.

Sloths rarely sit on their arse (unless its in a suspended wicker chair).

They hang from trees moving so slowly that over years they’ve developed a symbiotic relationship with algae. They’re really good swimmers. They come down from the trees once a week to do a poo. It can take them a day to climb down, and another day to climb back up. Sometimes sloths just fall out of trees, but are rarely hurt. This does not take a day. They come down to poo to help fertilise their trees as the same local area is passed down through the generations. But yes, at some point they need to mate.

Ants DO talk. Not in the obvious verbal way but using their tactile and olfactory senses. Ants are not mighty. Yeah they can lift a lot but what is one ant going to do? Feed a sparrow. Ants do the whole team work thing specifically because they’re not mighty. They can’t do everything. They’re awesome and super strong but they’re not mighty.

But I couldn’t be bothered to argue with this person who was clearly a cretin, he wasn’t even that drunk but he obviously knew nothing and made it want to sound like he did.



(I am a little over angry over this as I have been drinking and cretins were present at the pub. If there are obvious typos, blame Mr. Booze (yes I also watched family guy) and tiredness as it is nearly half past midnight and I am not made for sitting up slightly drunk alone on the computer. Sitting up with other people I can do til four in the morning quite happily. Alone, I cannot.)


  1. still-in-narnia posted this